Chris speaks with yoga teacher and author Kari Kwinn about codependency, addiction, and what makes a healthy relationship.
Kari Kwinn is a yoga teacher, writer, and reluctant philosopher who describes herself as having both a black belt and a gold medal in codependency. Now firmly in her recovery, her forthcoming book is called Not About Me: A Memoir, which recounts her personal journey into and out of her relationship with an active sex addict. Combining her backgrounds in yogic philosophy and medical anthropology, Kari offers her personal perspective into better understanding the nuances of healthy relationships. Learn more about her at karikwinn.com.
Addiction and Codependency
Kari talks about her background with yoga and how lucky she was to be introduced to it at such a young age. The conversation then turns toward the relationship between codependency and addiction.
“I think that codependency is at the root of addictive behavior… My experience of codependency is me flushing your drugs down the toilet, and then packing clean needles in your lunch pail just in case.” – Kari Kwinn
Rock Bottom (16:50)
Chris dives deeper into codependency, asking Kari how people can break free from that pattern of behavior. The two talk about enabling and not being able to learn a lesson for somebody else, and how bottoming out looks different for everyone.
“When it comes to those situations, really I’ve found that tends to be the best course of action, is letting them experience their own consequences… We who struggle with this need to experience those consequences and not have someone constantly bailing us out.” – Chris Grosso
A Relationship with the Truth (31:25)
What are the signs of a healthy relationship versus the signs of an unhealthy one? Kari speaks about truth being the key ingredient in every relationship in life. Later, the talk turns to relapse of codependency, and how food intake can be a good barometer for other behaviors in life.
“I think honesty, or a relationship with the truth, is the key sign of a healthy, functional relationship.” – Kari Kwinn
Dive deeper into relationships with Ram Dass on Here and Now Ep. 134
No Fairy Tale Ending (48:37)
Chris asks Kari about the book she is writing as the two discuss how real life doesn’t often come with a fairy tale ending. Kari ends the show with a beautiful reminder of how to be a supportive person to those in need of someone who will listen.
“I made a decision, I was not going to write a book about men. And so I wrote a book about men.” – Kari Kwinn