Sharon Salzberg – Metta Hour – Ep. 86 – Oren Jay Sofer

Sharon Salzberg - Metta Hour - Ep. 86 - Oren Jay Sofer

In Episode 86 of the Metta Hour Podcast, Sharon speaks with teacher and author, Oren Jay Sofer.

Oren Jay Sofer is a member of the Spirit Rock Teacher’s Council, a Certified Trainer of Nonviolent Communication, and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner for healing trauma. His first book, “Say What You Mean” comes out in December 2018. In this conversation, Sharon and Oren discuss how Oren came to the path of meditation practice, and his time spent in the East. They also discuss the many nuances of effective communication both related to mindfulness practice, somatic healing, and the application of non-violent communication. The conversation closes with Oren leading a short guided meditation. For more information, visit

Show Notes

Healing From A New Perspective (Opening) – Oren shares his background and what brought him to the practices of mindfulness and meditation.

Finding A Skillful Path (11:35) – Sharon and Oren talk about finding our own skillful paths in life, exploring ways that we can cultivate a sense of skill action and communication. They examine how we can use tools of communication honestly and effectively without coming from a place of blame or self-interest.

“The Buddhist tradition is amazing, in terms of the level of instruction and technology that is given to understand and train the mind, but there are gaps in making the bridge between the internal functioning of thought and emotion into speech and relationship.” – Oren Jay Sofer

Say What You Mean (26:10) – We look at Oren’s newest book, Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent CommunicationOren shares skills that allow us to naturally implement the fundamentals of mindfulness into the way we communicate with others.

“One of the things I have found in myself, and when I work with students, is that having an understanding of how our nervous system works, and starting to pay attention to our sympathetic activation, is an essential skill for communication – being able to track that and self-regulate.” – Oren Jay Sofer

Explore what all we have to learn we lower our defenses and communicate more openly with others on Ep.77 of The Indie Spiritualist Podcast

The Blame Game (38:55) – How do we effectively respond to the root of someone’s anger instead of getting caught up in the blame game with them? Sharon and Oren explore how deeper levels of listening and awareness enable us to communicate from neutral space where we can really hear each other.

A Foundation of Awareness (45:05) – Oren closes the show with a 6-minute guided meditation focused on clear awareness, a cornerstone of mindful communication.