Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt join Francesca Maximé on the premiere episode of the ReRooted podcast for a conversation around the ways that relationships operate in our culture and how we can heal and cultivate our inner life through healthy relationships.
Harville Hendrix Ph.D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt Ph.D. are internationally-respected couple’s therapists, educators, speakers, and New York Times bestselling authors. Together, they have written over 10 books with more than 4 million copies sold, including the timeless classic, Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. Harville has also been a long time reoccurring guest on the Oprah Winfrey television program, sharing his and Hellen’s approach to healing and cultivating relationships. Learn more about Helen, Harville and their Imago approach to relationship therapy at harvilleandhelen.com.
Creating a Relational Culture
Helen and Harville talk about the idea of cultivating a relational culture. Can a change in cultural norms affect the way our relationships function?
“What we are currently engaged in and committed to is a movement in activities toward creating a relational culture. That is a radical shift from the culture we have grown up in in the Western world, at least for the past 200 years, which has been focused on singularity, on the individual, on the isolated person, on the self – without reference to context. Without reference to the fact that we do live in a culture. That we do live in a culture and that the culture is not just a container we live in, it permeates our thoughts and feelings. Every interaction we have with our partners in a relationship is unconsciously mediated by the values of the culture.” – Harville Hendrix
Relationships and the Spiritual Life (7:08)
How can relationships act as a portal to a deeper inner life? Harville takes a look at the way relationships can connect us closer to the essence of being. Helen talks about pursuing a marriage based on partners making a commitment towards healing one another within the relationship.
“There was the romantic phase (of marriage). You marry because you want to get what you want out of it – it’s about me. We think that we are on the cusp of a new kind of marriage, which is a healing partnership. Look at the divorce rate with that other kind of marriage. We think if two people can look at marriage with a new lens. That that both of them come to a marriage wounded and they make a commitment to healing each other’s wound. That is the marriage that endures.” – Helen LaKelly Hunt
Check out Ram Dass’s reflection on the yoga of relationships on Ep. 17 of the Here and Now Podcast
Healing Our Wounds (19: 35)
Do the unresolved wounds that we collect as children affect the way we function and relate in our adult relationships. Harville and Helen examine the importance of partners engaging each other in safe and structured dialog, A dialog that constructively and gently sheds truth on the ways our deep seeded wounds are affecting our current relationship.
Cooperation Required (37:45)
We close with a conversation around the need for cooperation in any relationship. Harville and Helen talk about the drastic shift that occurs when both partners make an equal commitment to a relationship.